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Andrew's Big Idea

I wrote this script for a graphic short story as part of a writer/artist "bootcamp" held in the Freelancers forum of RPGnet in 2004.

PANEL ONE

EXTERIOR: PASTURE (MODERN DAY), DAY

Long shot of a typical stretch of pasture, somewhere in North America, from a point-of-view about twenty feet in the air.

There is a modern looking BARN and FARMHOUSE in the background, and in the foreground, four SHEEP. One sheep is stumbling to one side because a ROBOT, about twenty feet tall, is walking through the field and has almost stepped on it. The robot is gray and silver with simple lines, like the style of "The Iron Giant". It doesn't seem to be trying to squash the sheep; it's just walking through and not paying attention.

On the upper right of the panel is a weird-looking helicopter that's following the robot. It looks like a Volkswagon bug with chopper blades and a tail stuck on it. Between the two landing skids is what looks like a big metal crossbow. We can't actually see much detail yet because the helicopter is just catching up to the robot, but even from here, the fact that it's in the air at all seems like a miracle.

SFX: (robot foot) "STOMP!"

Sheep: Baaahhh!!

Voice from the heli: "That's a big robot."

Other voice from heli: "Yes, Virginia. I know."


PANEL TWO

Close-Up of the robot's head at the lower left quarter of the panel, still looking straight ahead. Beyond it, the helicopter is closer now, so we can see it better. It looks like it was built in somebody's garage, with parts that don't fit quite right. The fuselage is made of metal plates of different shapes, and there are pieces of metal sticking out in wrong places. It really doesn't look like it should be flying at all.

Voice from the heli: "No, Andrew. I mean, that's a very big robot."

Other voice from heli: "I CAN see it, Virginia! Trust me! It's perfect!!"

SFX (from below): Stomp!!

Sheep (from below, in small text): Baaahhh!!


PANEL THREE

Close-Up shot of the helicopter cockpit from the front, just inside the windshield.

There are two people inside the cockpit. In the pilot position is ANDREW, a young man, about twenty, with blond hair. He's wearing a bomber jacket, and is strapped into what looks like a desk chair. His hair is all mussed up, and he's hunched over a joystick, staring eagerly downward, apparently at the robot. He looks confident to the point of being a little crazy.

Behind him, on his right and strapped into a seat that faces the side of the cockpit (so we're looking at her right side), is his sister, VIRGINIA, nineteen and blonde. She's wearing a stylishly retro-looking flightsuit, and the pair of goggles she is wearing on her forehead make her look cute. Virginia is sitting up in her chair, looking over her brother's shoulder, at the robot below, and there's a very doubtful look on her face.

Around them we can see a few instrument panels and dials and switches. It's all very Rube Goldberg. There are computer screens, but they look like old, kit-bashed TRS-80s.

Andrew: "Professor Philpott thinks he's so smart. I TOLD him that robot would malfunction."

Virginia: "But I thought you said that was a good thing."

Andrew: "It is! For us!"



PANEL ONE

Still in the cockpit but now looking sideways. Virginia is still turned forward, toward Andrew, and looks confused. Andrew has turned in his chair as far as he can, and is looking back at her, holding his arms up and waving them as he describes their glorious future.

Andrew: "What better chance to show the world the Huffenbach Aerial Assault Robot Catcher in action?!"

Virginia: "But if we break that robot, how are we going to pay--."

Andrew: "We're NOT going to break it! It's a 'catcher', Virginia. This is a Robot CATCHER.

It's JUST like I've been telling you:  we're gonna have people POUNDING on our door. They'll be THROWING money at us!! All those stupid TV battle bots. We're gonna give 'em robot wars for REAL!!"


PANEL TWO

Medium shot of the helicopter flying through the air, just as a piece pops off with a little puff of smoke. This looks like a minor deal, not a major problem. In fact, it looks like something that happens a lot on this 'aircraft'.

SFX: (from the helicopter part): POOT!! Fssshhhh...

Virginia: "Andrew, how are they even going to know? We're in the middle of nowhere! There's nobody here but us and those sheep."

Andrew: "Stop hassling me with details! The world will know, trust me!

"Now:  Arm the Hooks!!"


PANEL THREE

Long shot of the helicopter dropping down closer to the robot, just as it squashes a pick-up truck abandoned by the side of a road. The sheep are in the background, huddled together, watching the robot as it walks away. (If sheep can look pissed-off, they do now.)

SFX (robot foot on truck): STOMP!! Keee—RUNK!"

Sheep (yelling at the robot): Baaaahhhh!!!

Virginia: "Are you sure--?"

Andrew. "Virginia!"

"Arm. The. Hooks!"


PANEL FOUR

Close-Up of the robot's head from below. Above it, we can see the helicopter hovering. The patchwork on the fuselage is impossible to miss, and from here we can see that even the landing skids don't match. We have a clear view of the crossbow-looking thing under the fuselage now, and it does indeed look like there are two big fish hooks, side-by-side, where crossbow bolts would normally be.

Virginia (from cockpit): "I really don't think--."

Andrew (from cockpit): "VIRGINIA!!"

Virginia (from cockpit): "All right! All right!"


PANEL FIVE

Looking at the helicopter from the front as the crossbow thing swings down and points at the robot. There's a faded view of the original position and then action lines going to its armed position.

SFX (from crossbow): CLANK. Shhwweeee. CRUNK.



PANEL ONE

Close-Up of Virginia, rolling her eyes.

Virginia: "s armed and ready, Andrew."


PANEL TWO

Close-Up of Andrew, looking down, positively gleeful.

Andrew: "Excellent!! Don't worry, Sis. This is all going according to plan!!"


PANEL THREE

Medium shot of the helicopter above the robot's head. The crossbow is pointed at the robot, but the helicopter is flying at just enough of an angle to look off-balance. (Trying for a wacky look here.)

Andrew (from cockpit): "Fire!!"

Virginia (from cockpit): "But, Andrew...."

Andrew (from cockpit): "FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!!!"

Virginia (from cockpit): "...." [just some dots in the word balloon to show a pause].

"Fine!" [in second word balloon]


PANEL FOUR

Close-Up of the bottom of the fuselage from the side. We see action lines left behind from the s shooting down (maybe the very ends of their shafts are visible at the bottom of the panel). Smoke has billowed out around the crossbow, and the helicopter fuselage is shuddering.

SFX (arrow): FOOOOOMMM.


PANEL FIVE

Close-Up of Andrew triumphant.

Andrew: "Hah!! A perfect shot! I'll show Philpott how a REAL genius—"


PANEL SIX

Close-Up of Virginia, alarmed.

SFX: SQUEEEEEEE— [bleeds into next panel]

Virginia: "Uhhh, Andrew?"


PANEL SEVEN

Medium shot of Andrew, wide eyed and teeth clenched, looking down at his white knuckles on the joystick.

SFX [bleeding from last panel]: --EEEEEE!!!

Andrew: "Errrrr...."


PANEL EIGHT

Empty sky, with action lines showing where the helicopter used to be.

SFX: SHOOP!!!

Andrew: (from where Andrew would have been) "Oh, crap."



PANEL ONE

INTERIOR: PROFESSOR PHILPOTT'S STUDY

A comfortable room with wooden walls, paintings, bookshelves, and stuffed armchairs. But in the background there is a lab table with strange machines and some robot-y parts and pieces. Andrew is sitting in a plain armchair. Two untouched cups of tea sit on a small table next to him.

Across from Andrew, in a much more comfortable-looking armchair, sits PROFESSOR PHILPOTT, who is about fifty and is dressed in something that looks like a cross between a lab coat and a smoking jacket. He is balding, with the rest of his graying hair uncombed. He looks very much like a professor, but NOT an absent-minded one. He looks relaxed, one leg crossed over the other. He's holding a teacup in his hands as he talks.

Professor Philpott: "Pulled you five hundred yards, you say?"

Andrew: "Yes, Professor Philpott."


PANEL TWO

A view of Philpott from the opposite side. We now see that Virginia is sitting in another plain armchair on the other side of that little table with the two untouched cups of tea. Her hair is black and clumped up in places. She's looking sideways at Andrew in a not very friendly way.

Professor: "And you landed in, what was it?"

Virginia: "In the robot's lubricating oil tank."


PANEL THREE

Back to the other side. Andrew is glancing toward Virginia, and looks a little worried for his safety. The professor seems oblivious to the effect his questions are having, though we can see he's smirking a little.

Professor: "And you ended up with....how many stitches?"

Andrew: "Errrr....Twelve each."


PANEL FOUR

One more time, back to Virginia. Now she's glaring at Andrew, her hands balled into fists on the arms of her chair. The professor looks innocently curious as he asks this question.

Professor: "Stop the robot?"

Virginia (teeth clenched) "Oh, yes."

"We stopped the robot."


PANEL FIVE

Slightly wider shot of Philpott sitting across from Andrew and Virginia. The siblings, hearing what he's saying, now look dismayed.

Professor: "Yes, well, it seems you'll both be assisting me for quite a while longer. Until you've paid for the damage."

"After all, I had warned you, my boy. It's like that old saying."


PANEL SIX

Same shot, the professor looking down, about to sip nonchalantly from his cup. Andrew and Virginia look like they just bit on lemons. You can almost imagine little black storm clouds over their heads.

Professor: "Too many hooks spoil the bot."

Back to Alcatia Home | Updated 4/9/07, by the Croupier